Because The Bowers Story Is All That’s Going On

Published: February 21st, 2013

And what's with this food on the airline? Who do you need to shoot to get a decent chicken piccata?
Martin Fennelly wrote a piece about the Da’Quan Bowers incident. And although he pretty much has the same opinion of the thing that I do, I can’t help but still hate him. Mostly for lines like this:

By the way, it’s just as well they threw him in the hoosegow before he got to the security check point. Word is that Bowers was also carrying more than 3.4 ounces of shampoo, and not in a 1 quart/liter zip-top bag.

Because airport security jokes about liquids are timeless.

You know, maybe he didn’t even realize at first it was a gun he packed.

Let me see … socks, yes, underwear, three pairs, shirts, pants, shaving kit, hair dryer, hair dryer ammunition …”

“Hair dryer ammunition” actually made me laugh. You know, maybe there’s some kernel of something funny in his pieces that I just keep missing.

And then there’s Bowers’ playing career. He was a second-round pick in 2011, overcame a knee injury, and then an Achilles tendon injury. He managed three sacks in 2012. The Bucs are waiting on this defensive end’s breakout.

They just didn’t know it was going to have to be out of C Block.

Never mind.

Fennelly also conveys a story about accidentally leaving a knife in a backpack and trying to get it through security. TSA catches him, chastises him and then sends him on his way. I kind of dozed in and out while I was reading it, but the moral I took from it is that Fennelly is a terrorist and must be stopped.

Bowers’ arrest is news the Bucs didn’t need. Schiano had cleared the decks of gun slinger Aqib Talib. Bowers is no Talib, by any stretch, but this is still a mess.

No it isn’t. It’s going to be fine. Bowers probably won’t get any more than a stern talking-to. I know nothing else is going on in Bucland, but we don’t have to make shit up. Just do like I do and leave your site vacant and unchanged for days on end.