Peter King Is Inspiring

Published: October 31st, 2011

The Rams did that. The Rams.
I haven’t done an entry on any of Peter King‘s stuff in a long time. And it’s not because I’m holding a grudge because he never writes anything positive about the Bucs or because I find his writing consistently pretentious and douchy. It’s because he has no brain. None. Just a big hole in his skull stuffed with coffee-soaked oatmeal. It’s both inspiring and fascinating that he can shout syllables into a microphone and crank out material every couple days, but it doesn’t make for good articles on my end, so I stopped. He actually bothered to mention the Bucs in his Fine Fifteen column today, so I thought I’d give him another visit here.

13. New Orleans (5-3). Saints hadn’t been shut out in the first half of a game for nearly 50 months until Sunday, at St. Louis. If you watched it, it wasn’t a fluke. The Rams manhandled the Saints’ offensive line.

14. Atlanta (4-3). Before you Bucs fans write in with pitchforks at the ready, I do understand that Tampa Bay beat both the Saints and Falcons. What can I say? Other than I saw the San Francisco and Chicago games.

New Orleans not only lost to the Bucs, they lost to a previously winless Rams team yesterday. And somehow the Bucs aren’t better than the Saints? That game was awful. At least Tampa Bay’s humiliation in San Francisco was to a decent team (the 49ers are currently 6-1). And the Falcons also lost to Chicago… by a wider margin than the Bucs did. If King had a brain, then you’d have to say it’s spite that keeps the Bucs out of the discussion of teams in the top half of the league. But the No Brain Theory is further backed by his placing of the Eagles at #8 despite a losing record and New England (5-2) being #4 and the Giants (5-2) being tied for #15. Those aren’t the rankings of a man who understands simple arithmetic let alone football. So next time you see Peter King walking around with his chaperone, pat him on his primary-colored helmet and give him the respect he deserves. It’s a medical miracle that he can even breathe without being reminded every three seconds. But don’t let him hug you. Those guys are strong. That’s why they won’t let him adopt kittens anymore.