Aqib Says He Didn’t Shoot The Gun

Published: March 31st, 2011

Potential cheerleaders should be ready to get down on their knees at any time.
In a startling turn of events, a man accused of a crime is saying that he didn’t do it. Well, thank God that’s all over.

Bucs cornerback Aqib Talib has been busy preparing a vigorous defense of charges that he fired gun shots at his sister’s boyfriend but finally surrendered to Texas police Tuesday morning on felony arrest warrant.

The phrase “has been busy preparing a vigorous defense” makes it sound like Aqib has been taking copious notes while buried in legal journals and court cases. I’m guessing his lawyer is doing most of the work.

And “vigorous” always sounds sexual to me. In fact, I’m also going to prepare a vigorous defense right after I finish writing this entry.

Although Talib’s attorneys declined comment Wednesday, privately he’s been adamant that he did not fire a weapon during the domestic disturbance. Talib told Clint Bowen, a co-defensive coordinator during his career at the University of Kansas, that only his mom pulled the trigger.

I’ll bet he also told his coach he wasn’t smoking weed a few years ago.

“I talked to Aqib two days ago,” Bowen said. “I told him, ‘I just read something about you firing a gun.’ He said, ‘Man, I didn’t do a thing. It’ll all come out soon.’ He just kept saying that…He said, ‘I didn’t do that. That was my mom. It’s all going to come out.”’

In the end, it’s going to be a credibility issue because the only people who saw what happened are the ones involved. No other witnesses have stepped forward and I’m pretty sure even if someone saw what happened from their kitchen window, they’re not in a big hurry to get involved in this. So you’ve got a convicted sex offender going against an NFL star, his mom, and the girlfriend that the sex offender has been abusing. Shots were definitely fired, but if Aqib goes to jail, a big source of family income dries up real fast, so it makes sense for the mom to just take the fall for all the shots and protect Aqib as much as possible. Plus, you know, she’s his mom — that’s what moms do. Some moms do even more. Like Joe’s mom. She does it all.

So the question is, if it goes down this way and the official story in court is that Aqib didn’t fire any shots and he gets off with some minor charge, do the Bucs still get rid of him? If everyone backs up his story, it provides the plausible deniability that the Bucs would need to justify keeping a very talented player that they know has chronic off-the-field issues. If they do, I swear I’m going to take bets on the over/under months until his next incident. Seriously. Someone will win a prize.

[Just like last year with Donald Penn, I'm sick to death of Aqib Talib's pictures dominating the blog, so now you get cheerleader training photos. Don't bother clicking (unless a porn star tries out for the squad... man, how great would that be?)]