The rest of the league is more interesting

Published: February 20th, 2007
By weblog

With so little going on in Buccaneers world that they have to resort to posting the five best moments from the 2006 season on their web site. And, really, with so many memorable and winning plays last year, it was a wonder they got through this article at all. But, really, the Bucs sucked last year and this was just a way for the team to look busy while they're getting ready for the combine where they can track players' 40 times down to the hundredth of a second because we all know it matters SO much. "You ran a 4.40? Pffft, I ran a 4.37, bitch. Now lick my sneakers clean!"

But there are some teams that are making the offseason fun. Like San Diego, for example. A.J. Smith did to the Chargers' coaching staff what Britney Spears did to her hair: forcibly remove all of it in an effort to cleanse themselves of the stank of the previous couple weeks.

Or because they're both fucking nuts.

I agree Marty Schottenheimer choked yet again in the postseason, but he did go 14-2 during the regular season and that should count for something. Much of the blame for their loss to the Patriots can't be put on Marty. And who did Smith get to replace him? Norv Turner! Norv was so bad that he was replaced with Art Shell who only lasted one season in Oakland. Norv is so bad that he was replaced with Marty Schottenheimer in Washington in 2000. That would be like Britney shaving her head then wearing some ridiculous blonde wig to try and make it look like she knows what she's doing.

So, what is it about Ron Rivera that has him going for sure-fire head coach in 2006 to linebackers coach for the (somehow) rebuilding Chargers inside of a month? Rivera must be the worst interview ever. He has applied for six different positions since January and didn't get any of them. Not only that, the Bears, who rode his defense's back all the way to the Super Bowl, let his contract expire. Seriously, does he pick his nose in job interviews? Does he have overpowering body odor? Instead of shaking hands after the interview, does he smack the general manager's ass? Or his secretary's? This guy has a secret and the Cardinals, Steelers, Cowboys, Falcons and Dolphins all found out about it. The Chargers probably found out about it, too. But as you can see, they'll hire anyone.

And did I mention Michael Vick is allowed to call his own plays now? I did? Ok, good. Just checking.