New Dress Code Was Punishment

Raheem Morris admitted during his press conference today that the new dress code where players have to show up to the game in a suit and tie was a punishment for losing and not because he was a lost little boy in a man’s world grasping at whatever straws he could, like some blogger somewhere may have implied.

“There’s little things you can take way from these guys,” Morris said. “Make them come to the game looking the right way, make them look like winners. Maybe yesterday the dress code changed everything.”

Yes, yes, yes. You won. I said the new dress code was stupid because it didn’t affect the outcome of the game, and you won. I still think it’s a coincidence, but since you won I have to keep my mouth shut about it, so fuck me. Maybe you can make them all walk single file onto the field and you’ll win by 50.

“It’s more of my little punishment deals. The music can come back. You can go to work in jeans and nice shirt and you’re still the same person, but for me, it was more of a punishment deal. People might want their jeans back. People might want their music back. So in able to do that, we’ve got to do some winning.

God, I want to make so many jokes about this. Winning feels great, but it’s going to kill me as a writer if he can go on doing shit like this with impunity.