Dwight Smith Is Not Interesting

The Detroit Free Press ran this interview with Dwight Smith, now of the Lions. And if you were ever into those teen heartthrob magazines like Tiger Beat, you'll recognize the interview format.

What other sports do you enjoy watching?

Any other athletes you enjoy watching?

What player did you admire growing up?

What television show do you enjoy?

What's in your iPod?

Ugh. As a result, information that could have been interesting is rendered pretty dull and a little stalk-y. There are a couple nuggets, though.

What's been your most memorable moment as a player? The day I got drafted (82nd overall in the 2001 draft). Because coming out of Akron there was a lot of doubts of if I would get drafted, where I would get drafted. And then to get drafted by a franchise like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, knowing where they were headed, it was just a great feeling.

Well, that's very nice and all, but you were sitting at home, got a call on your cell phone from Tony Dungy, saw your name on TV and had a party. Yes, that's a big day, but you could have chosen the day you broke a Super Bowl record by returning two interceptions for touchdowns in front of 137.6 million viewers in only your second year in the NFL. I dunno... that seems more memorable.

You know what would have made this interview more memorable? Stories about nailing skanks in stairwells and waving guns around, both of which he has. You could even phrase it in the form of a Bop magazine question if that's the only way you know how to do it. "If you could sodomize one Hollywood super-slut in the men's room at PURE, who would it be?" Come on, people. It's the offseason. You have to make an effort here.