Eat A Steak And Meet Carmella — Can’t It Be The Other Way Around?

Jeff Garcia's Pass It On foundation is selling seats to a dinner at Bern's Steakhouse with Jeff and Carmella Garcia.

The dinner costs $500 (includes dinner, dessert, beverages, autograph opportunites [sp] and a gift bag) and benefits the Humane Society of Tampa Bay. Seating at Jeff and Carmella Garcia's table is limited to 40 people.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure no one gives any fucks what charity this is for. It could benefit the Satan Worshipers Who Drown Puppies Fund and you'd still get the same lonely losers who would happily drop five bills for a chance to "accidentally" bump into Carmella, graze a breast, and use that feeling to vigorously masturbate the next week away. God, how I envy them.

So if you have $500 and 40 roofies (one for Jeff), you could have some nice alone time with a Playmate at one of the best restaurants in Tampa after the drinks arrive. She may be all "Oh my God, is he dead?!?" but you can assure her that he'll wake up in an hour or so and be just fine and won't remember anything. After you've mysteriously rendered 40 people unconscious, she's likely to be very interested in anything you have to say. This is your chance to try out your line about food tasting better when you're naked. When you have the undivided attention of a hot chick who is scared for her life, the possibilities are truly endless. Hit those ATMs now, men. I expect a full report when you get back.