Long Live Bucco Bruce

Not really. To be honest, he was a little gay for a football team. But someone down at the Inventorspot.com web site decided it was the #5 worst sports logo ever. Not even worst football logo... worst sports logo. Are you kidding? Maybe if the inventors would put down their protractors for a minute and actually watch some sports (we'll save participating in them for another day,) they might gain some perspective.

Unless they're working on those dolls that feel like real chicks. You know... like, really feel like chicks. Everywhere. Those guys can keep working. Everyone else, take a break.

To prove my point that Bucco Bruce shouldn't be on the list, let's find six worse logos that will push it off the page. Did these guys even know there was an Arena League?

This is the logo of the Memphis Pharaohs, an Arena League team that only lasted two years. I assume it's supposed to be the front of one of those big, fancy Egyptian boats (like this one,) but it looks like the top of a fat snake that has gone to sleep. It sucks. They couldn't figure out something cool to go with the name Pharaohs? Hell, even the guys at the Atomic Pharaoh Comic Shop came up with something better.

Here is the Miami Vise logo, an Arena League team that really only existed to prove a point: that Miami could support an Arena League team. It didn't work and the Vise died quickly, probably because the logo sucked major donkey ass. What the hell was it supposed to be, anyway? It looks like someone got mad at pi and knocked part of it over or something. Awful.

Really? The Charlotte Hornets of the World League get no consideration for worst logo ever? I never thought Buzz was all that intimidating, but he's absolutely pants-shittingly terrifying compared to this refrigerator reject.

What, no one remembers the Philadelphia Firebirds? They were a hockey team for the AHL in the late 70s before they folded. They actually had a winning record for half of their seasons, too. The logo, though, was never a winner. I think the yellow part is supposed to look like an "F" for "Firebirds", but I really don't know. And why is the head squished flat? Do birds have flat heads? I think Pontiac probably has the last word on this one.

Just to show that I'm not only scraping the barrels of defunct teams, here's the Boston Celtics logo from the 1950s. It's a court jester getting ready to take a shit. Don't ask what the stick is for. Can you believe some version of this logo endured for 19 years?

The San Diego Jaws logo is truly an abomination because someone just took a photograph of a shark and pasted a gay soccer ball next to the tail and called it a logo. You don't get to do that! They later became the San Diego Sockers, whose logo was slightly better but with a much worse name. The team, along with the rest of the league (including our beloved Rowdies) folded in 1984.

I didn't look real hard for these. A couple of them I already knew and the rest were pretty easy to find. It's not that I disagree with most of the inventors' list, but if you're going to cast a net as wide as "sports", you need have some real shit up there. And Bucco Bruce's head, regardless of what he's doing with the rest of his body, doesn't qualify as one of the worst of all time.

Now, how about a throwback game?