Plummer Saves $3.5 Million, Doesn’t Say Thank You

Instead of going through an arbitration that the Buccaneers couldn't possibly lose, the team decided instead to cut Jake Plummer a deal and let him skate out of his contract for roughly half of what he owed.

The settlement would save Plummer another $3.5 million because precedent was on the Bucs' side. Even Hall of Fame running back Barry Sanders was ordered to pay back $5.5 million of his $11 million signing bonus to the Detroit Lions for retiring in 1998 with years left on his contract.

I have no idea why the Bucs didn't go after the full $7 million. There has been debate about whether a payback would help the salary cap or not. Most recently, Stephen Holder and his VERY well-placed NFL source [emphasis his] says it will. And I know the Glazers are really, really rich and all, but $3.5 million seems like a lot of money to just piss away out of laziness. Is Jake's voice hypnotic in some way, compelling those who are listening to it to give him stuff and make his life better? For example, his wife is the chick on the left.

How does a handball player with a horrible neckbeard get that? And this is essentially the view from his house.

He got to play professional football, made millions of dollars, retired early, and now the Bucs cut him a $3.5 million deal to stay retired and never show up to Tampa ever. I don't care what religion Jake is, I'm following it. Snake handling, magic underwear, lighting goats on fire, whatever. I'm in. I've heard all religions lead to God, but only Jake's leads to nailing cheerleaders in a mountaintop hot tub.