Chris Simms Is A Drama Queen

Chris Simms finally came out of the shell that he's been turtled up in for several months and whaddaya know... he's unhappy!

"I feel like I'm being held hostage," Simms said.

John McCain would like a moment of your time to discuss the word "hostage", Chris. Besides, isn't there usually someone willing to pay to have a hostage released?

Simms's main complaint is that the Buccaneers won't release him and that they turned down trade offers during the draft.

"I know for a fact I'm not in their plans. I don't understand the hold up at this point."

The hold up, I'm sure, is that the Bucs want to receive the maximum compensation possible for him after investing so much time and money into him. During training camps, quarterbacks will get hurt or coaches will realize just how bad some of the guys that they have suck. If Chris can perform well in training camp and showcase his renewed skills in a preseason game, the Bucs can get a decent pick from one of those teams that needs a backup quarterback with some experience. When he signed his extension in 2006 and collected a full year's salary for rehabbing, he gave up his right to dictate the timetable.

Simms also has personal problems with the Bucs, and Jon Gruden in particular. Take, for example, when they announced that Simms was completely healthy last summer.

"The way they handled it was wrong," Simms said. "I don't know if they wanted to cut me and didn't want to liable or they were hoping somebody would trade for me, but for him to say I was completely healthy and passed all the physicals and that I just wasn't performing well, that was a low blow. It was."

Of course they wanted someone to trade for you! Jeff Garcia was the starter, Bruce Gradkowski still had some rope left with Gruden and you were throwing like shit. I'm not sure what the big mystery is here. You were even blaming yourself for your slow recovery. Remember that?

"Yeah it is frustrating, but it is what it is. I get mad at myself more than anything because me being hard-headed and trying to be somewhat old school where I felt I just needed to keep going out there and practicing and working and I will get better and better," Simms said. "All that time I really just wasted because I was ignorant to the whole situation just thinking that I was an athlete and could overcome it because I'm young and healthy."

This year, just like last year, the team wants something in exchange for him and they're going to wait until the last possible second to try to get it before releasing him outright. Last year they were probably going to pull the trigger, but apparently the Glazers stepped in and said no. So, for that inconvenience, he was paid $5 million. This year, it's pretty much the same thing, except I'm betting no one from the owner's office will hold it up this time. So the only possible outcomes are that he'll be traded sometime this offseason, be released before the final cut to 53, or he'll stay on the roster and collect another $2 million after which point he'll be a free agent anyway. It's really not such a bad set of circumstances.

"I don't know how anybody can expect me to go back there and look coach Gruden in the eye and believe the relationship is hunky dory after some of the things that were said and done," Simms said. "Things were handled wrongly from the business end of it and definitely things were handled wrongly as far as how you treat a person."

Here's a clip from a similar article in the Tribune:

"I mean, he never once sat down at any point with me and asked me what I was going through, how I felt, even as a person. That said a lot to me. That's why I feel like I can never play for him again."

Wow. Have your dad tell you some stories about his knock-down/drag-outs with Bill Parcells sometime. If you want to be coddled, try to get traded to the Colts. Tony Dungy doesn't yell. Too bad Dick Vermeil isn't coaching anymore, you guys could share a good cry together. No wonder you were never on an injury report. There's no checkbox for "bruised vagina".

Gruden just doesn't come across to be as a guy who... cares in that way. I'd bet just about everyone who knows him, even his family, would say the same thing. He's probably kind of cold unless you're on the field with him or in his immediate circle. He's a coach. That's what he does, and if you can't help him win a game, he probably doesn't have time for you. Maybe that's harsh, but I'm not going to hold it against the guy for acting according to his nature. Stop being such a melodramatic bitch, Chris.