Testaverde Finally Gets To Be The One Doing The Cutting

Vinny Testaverde hates the people of Tampa. First he comes to the Buccaneers and sucks red hot ass for six years, then to add insult to injury, he moves in next to the people he's already offended and starts chopping down federally protected 40-foot tall cypress trees to improve his view.

"Three or four weeks ago I was getting all these calls from people who saw the trees being ripped up right on the shoreline," said Keystone resident Jim Swain, president of the Lake Keystone Property Owners Association.

He said Testaverde removed between 40 and 50 trees altogether.

The article is pretty much putting the blame on the tree-removal company that did the work for Vinny, but it's just so much more fun to blame him. One part of it doesn't add up for me, though.

In a certified letter dated May 13, Testaverde was ordered to plant 40, 15-gallon palm cypress or bulb cypress trees in the wetland area within 30 days.

The letter also required "100-percent survival of the trees one year after planting."

Tallahassee-based attorney Clayton Studstill, representing Testaverde in the discussions, acknowledged receipt of the letter four days later and asked whether fewer trees could be planted if they were larger.

The EPC told them they could instead plant 20, 30-gallon trees (a gallon is the measured unit of soil and root ball in the container of a planted tree), along with "beneficial herbaceous planting on the shoreline."

Those smaller trees would have grown, you know. So, Vinny got to chop down 40-50 trees and replace them with 20, and now everything's ok. It kind of makes me want to go out and shoot a dozen or so California Condors. But it's ok because I'll replace them by not eating eggs this week. The EPC may think everything is square, but I know someone who is going to be pissed when he finally hears about this.