Philadelphia Is Bad At Everything

As a Buccaneers fan, there are fewer things more gratifying than a Philadelphia loss. Sometimes, depending on the week and who the opponents are, I actually get more satisfaction out of the Eagles losing than I do the Bucs winning. As it turns out, losses in Philadelphia aren't limited to just football. Fans of all sports can enjoy the warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from the worst fans in the world being crushed and humbled year after year.

Sports Illustrated has done the Lord's work and compiled a list of the Top 100 sports disappointments in Philadelphia history. And what a history it is.

The Flyers' elimination made it 100 consecutive seasons without a title for Philadelphia's four major teams. That's far and away the record for a four-sport town -- a gold standard for civic sports futility.

Of special interest to Bucs fans are number 56:

56. Matt Bryant's 62-yard field goal stuns Eagles | Oct. 22, 2006

[Brian] Westbrook's spectacular 52-yard touchdown with 33 seconds left in regulation put the Eagles ahead 21-20, capping a furious rally back from a 17-0 deficit. But Tampa Bay's Bryant -- 0-for-3 from beyond 40 yards on the season -- split the uprights from 62 yards as time expired.

... and number 41:

41. Bucs blanks Eagles in first game at Lincoln Financial Field | Sept. 8, 2003

The Eagles christened their sparkling $512 million stadium the same way they closed down the Vet: with an emotionally taxing loss to Tampa Bay. The Eagles couldn't even crack the scoreboard in a dismal 17-0 whitewashing to open the '03 season.

Inserted amongst all the Eagle pain are particularly hilarious moments from the Seventy-Sixers, the Flyers and the Phillies (who are the only professional sports team to lose over 10,000 games.) But best of all, the number one worst sports moment in Philadelphia history also comes courtesy of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

1. 2002 NFC Championship Game | Jan. 19, 2003

The blindside factor makes the NFC title game between the Eagles and the Bucs the choice as the definitive Philly sports tragedy of the drought era. The idea of losing to Tampa Bay in the final game in Veterans Stadium history was unthinkable. Consider these facts:

* In the three most recent meetings between the teams -- including wild-card showdowns in 2000 and 2001 -- the Eagles had outscored the Bucs by a 72-22 margin.

* The Bucs entered the game 1-21 all-time when the temperature was under 40 degrees (with the lone win coming in Week 17 against the hapless Bears). The gametime temperature in South Philadelphia: 22 degrees and windy.

* Tampa Bay had never won a road playoff game in franchise history.

When Brian Mitchell returned the opening kickoff 70 yards -- followed by Duce Staley's touchdown in the first minute -- victory seemed a foregone conclusion. Alas, the Eagles lost the game, 27-10. After sucking the energy out of the Vet with two lengthy touchdown drives during the first half, Bucs cornerback Ronde Barber's sealed the outcome with a 92-yard interception with 3:12 left. It sent 66,713 salty fans to the aisles, an appropriate tribute to a building which provided the stage for 33 years of disappointment and heartbreak.

Allow me to add...

Folks can talk about the 0-26 streak from now until the league folds, but at least the Bucs came back and won the big one. And then the next year, the Lightning won the Stanley Cup. Tampa is a relatively new sports town and still doesn't have a professional basketball team. And still, they've got two more championships than Philadelphia. Fuck you, Philly. Fuck you right in the face.