Making Up Facts For Fun And Profit

Roy Cummings speculates on the reasons why Jon Gruden hates Chris Simms:

For reasons that aren't completely clear, Gruden has little or no use for Simms. Maybe it's Simms' lack of mobility or the fact he's left-handed, which forces Gruden to flip-flop his offense whenever Simms is in the lineup.

Or maybe it's the fact Gruden was never really on board with the Rich McKay-generated decision to draft Simms. It doesn't matter, really. The facts are the facts, and it's time for the internal squabble about Simms to end.

Or, you know, it could be that Simms is 12/17 TD/INT for his career with his most recent action producing one touchdown to seven interceptions. Or it could be the nine balls batted at the line of scrimmage in 2006. Or it could be that every time he gets a shot to start, he gets injured. I don't think the reasons are unclear.

And yes, it has been an internal squabble that has kept Simms in Tampa and thus in limbo. Do you really think it was Gruden and General Manager Bruce Allen who decided to keep Simms around as an injured fourth quarterback last year?

That call came from above, from a family of owners that seldom gets involved in the on-field management of their team. In this case, though, the Glazers saw Simms as an asset they feared they would take a huge loss on if he was let go.

You know what this part of the story could use? A source; possibly a quote. That might lend some credibility to the idea that the Glazers, who never take an active role in the management of the team, decided that a third-string quarterback is the player worth breaking their silence over. They kept quiet and took the PR hit when it came time to part ways with John Lynch and Warren Sapp, but the quarterback who has still not started a season's worth of games needs to be retained at all costs? Cite a source for this information, Cummings!

Oh God, I really want to be a reporter. It just seems so fucking easy. I could just make shit up that I think happened, and print it like it's fact. It's just like I do now, except it would be legitimized because I would be writing for an established publication and I'd be getting paid an actual salary! Real sportswriters are taking all kinds of shots at bloggers these days for being dogmatic and petty. When are they going to expose the members of their own clan to the same scrutiny?

Last night I watched the first Bucs/Panthers game from 2006 again. It's Simms's last game where Simms ruptures his spleen and continues playing through it even though he can hardly get his breath and he's in obvious pain. Simms really took a lot of punishment during that game, most of which can be laid at the feet of his offensive line which failed to protect him adequately all day. Some more of the blame can be shouldered by Gruden who, for some reason I still don't quite understand, rolled Simms out on a bootleg in the fourth quarter only to get leveled by Al Wallace. Both Simms and Wallace were horizontal in mid-air when Simms released the ball and completed a pass to Mike Alstott, making for one of the best courage-under-fire moments I've seen. My point here is that I've been a Simms fan and I appreciate his talents and his grit. That said, I also understand why Gruden is done with him.

After five years, you expect a third round quarterback to have produced something, especially when the competition has been as weak as it has. Maybe if Edell Shepherd catches that perfectly thrown ball in the endzone a few years ago, we're not having this conversation. But you can't bank the future of your team on what-ifs and speculation. You need facts, and the facts are the Simms has not been a good and reliable quarterback, regardless of his athleticism or how likable he is. And, look, I'll even link to an official source for my facts.