June Less Drinky-Drivey Today

The charges against Cato June for DUI were dropped yesterday. The reason given was "no reasonable expectation of successful prosecution", which sounds like a fancy way of saying that June's attorneys are smarter than the city of Tampa's. If you remember, June was pulled over for doing 21 miles over the limit at 3:00 in the morning after an excellent game against the Falcons. Oh, and it was his birthday, too. I don't know where the officer got off pulling him over in the first place. People don't drink to celebrate victories or birthdays, do they?

Anyway, since the charges were dropped, the whole thing never happened. The lesson here, kids: never, ever submit to the Breathalyzer. And ladies, take note of whether the officer has an actual Breathalyzer machine, or if he just has the word "Breathalyzer" written along the length of his cock. Because if you absolutely have to blow one of them, it might as well be the one that keeps you out of jail. This has been today's PSA.