Hampty Hampts Likes To Drink

Chas Gessner was arrested Saturday night (S-A T-U-R D-A-Y!) for DUI with a blood alcohol content between .222 and .227. You may be wondering why I am bringing this up since Chas is no longer on the team. The official roster even says so. But apparently no one told him he was cut because he stated for the record that he was employed by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as a player. Gessner spent about seven and a half hours in jail, during which time he complained about the slow service and threatened to have the warden's job if he didn't get some goddamn 300 thread count sheets for his cot.

God, I hope it was like Louis Winthorpe in Trading Places. "Those men wanted to have SEX with me!"