Sabby Is On The Hot List

Ski made fun of me early in the season for having a "mancrush" on Sabby Piscitelli just because I thought he was pure awesomeness during training camp. Oh, he thought that was a hoot. Well, looks like I wasn't the only one. Evidently, a magazine full of homosexuals agrees with me. Sabby made the 2007 Outsports NFL All-Hot Team. Who's laughing now, Ski?

This rookie won me over with this shot from the Bucs' training camp. A physical fitness freak, Piscitelli was hard to miss while at Oregon State. One person who was at OSU at the same time told me: "He walked around the weight room with no shirt on and looked at himself constantly in the mirrors. And he loved to wear skin tight Under Armour. He has massive biceps and shoulders."

Oh.

Uhh... hmmm.

Yeah, see, I thought this was a list of guys who had good years. Like, you know, "they're hot!" I suppose that Mike Alstott's inclusion and the fact that both of those players spent most of the year on injured reserve should have tipped me off a little, but come on. These are NFL players! What else could they mean? For God's sake, Todd Steussie is on the fucking thing!

No self-respecting gay man can possibly look at that photo and picture Steussie pumping anything but gas. If homosexuals want to be taken seriously in this world, they have to start with the simple things - like not putting Jimmy Durante's overjuiced nephew on their hot lists. So, you can see how I was confused, right? RIGHT?

Ok, I'm a little uncomfortable now. And what do I do whenever I don't know what to type next?

There, that's better.

Seriously, the list is pretty funny. It's like every NFL gay joke of the last two years all conveniently assembled in one place for us. Michael Strahan, Terrell Owens, Brady Quinn... they're all there. I promise you won't turn gay if you click the link. Or if you do, at least you're in the right place.