Jake Plummer’s Life Is Way Better Than Yours

I guess the author of this article took offense when I told Jake Plummer to fuck himself a couple days ago because he took the time to write an article all about how Plummer is living a life of leisure and luxury in the mountains while the rest of us resemble something that stuck to his shoe.

"Other than Jimmy Buffett and Adam Sandler, I don't know anybody that has a better life than him," longtime friend Doug Tammaro said.

I'd probably add Hugh Heffner and the CEOs of the major oil companies, but yeah, it's a pretty short list.

Travel, skiing, concerts, boating, backpacking, handball, Ultimate Frisbee. The recreational choices are endless in Sandpoint, a mountain community less than an hour south of the Canadian border.

He forgot to mention the candy factory and how Plummer rides Pegasus the winged horse to his handball tournaments. I'm sure it was just an oversight. Wait... what did that say? "Ultimate Frisbee"?

"He even got into some Ultimate Frisbee this past summer," Eric Plummer said. "He'd never played. The first time out there, he was like, 'Oh, man, this is sweet!' He was loving it."

What's so ultimate about Ultimate Frisbee? Is the Frisbee covered with AIDS-tainted syringes or something? Is the Frisbee actually a TM-46 anti-tank mine? Because I have to admit, that would be pretty sweet. Oh no, wait... this just in: it's only called Ultimate Frisbee when Jake is playing it. All other times, it's just Frisbee.