Oh, This Ain’t Good

Jeff Garcia is feeling good enough to talk on the phone, but he's not quite up to the point of doing anything involving a football.

"I'm feeling a little better today; I'm taking some better steps today than yesterday, [but] I'm not at a point now where I can even throw the ball yet," Garcia said during his weekly radio call-in segment on WDAE, 620 AM.

There's still about four and a half days left for Garcia to recover enough to spare us the unending agony of watching either Bruce Gradkowski or Luke McCown flop around on the field like trout who accidentally landed on a rock while trying to swim upstream. I like the 5-on-4 or 6-on-5 matchup with the Buccaneer offensive line, but any more than that and it's going to be a bloodletting. I know I make fun of the Saints a lot, but Charles Grant and Will Smith are for real. If the Saints defense smells blood in the water with either of the Buccaneer backups, they'll just shove 11 men in the box (don't be gross) and sack him about 20 times. Afterwards they'll pick their teeth with his femurs. I suppose if I had to choose, I'd give McCown another chance just because of what happened last week, but it probably doesn't matter.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to offer a big, hearty fuck you to Jake Plummer for wanting to stay home and nail his cheerleader wife in his mansion in the mountains instead of getting mauled by sweaty 300 pound men on a weekly basis. What a jerk. Everyone thought Jon Gruden was nuts for having seven quarterbacks on the roster in the summer, but it sure would be nice to have another option or two right about now. Hell, I'd give Chris Simms a shot at it in whatever condition he's in for at least half a game if he wasn't on IR. Maybe he got all his interceptions out of his system last year. Anyone? Oh, like you have a better idea.