Michael Vick Does Not Pass Go Or Collect $200

With his sentencing three weeks away and no one wanting to hang out with him on the outside anymore, Michael Vick has decided to start his prison time early with the hopes that this gesture will somehow get Judge Henry Hudson to go easier on him. But Hudson is known as a ballbuster and most experts are saying that the only real benefit to starting the sentence earlier is to get it over with earlier. Which is fine with me. If I know Vick is the guest of honor at a prison broomstick party three weeks early, I'll have one extra thing to be thankful for this Thursday.

Vick's lawyer did what most lawyers do and lied until his pants caught fire.

"From the beginning, Mr. Vick has accepted responsibility for his actions, and his self-surrender further demonstrates that acceptance," attorney Billy Martin said in a statement.

No, you're wrong. From the beginning, Vick said he had no knowledge of anything regarding the property or the mass dog graves found there. That's what he told Arthur Blank and Roger Goodell. Then he pled not guilty to the dogfighting charges in July. Remember this, Billy?

"We intend to prove Mike's innocence at trial. We are conducting our own investigation. ... And we look forward to the opportunity to being able to walk inside this courtroom and saying to the world that Michael Vick is innocent."

That's not taking responsibility from the beginning. That's waiting until all your buddies turn state's evidence and then realizing that you are thoroughly and undeniably boned.