Cato June Assumes The Position

Cato June is sitting in jail after being arrested for DUI last night, because nothing caps off a near shut out and a nine tackle effort against a division rival on your birthday like getting hammered and doing 21 miles over the limit. He refused to take a breathalyser test, but the arresting officer said June had "bloodshot and glassy eyes" and that he could smell the alcohol on him.

For some reason the sheriff's office doesn't have his mugshot on file yet. But I did learn that June's middle name is Nnamdi, which is kind of cool. You know what's not cool? Getting arrested for DUI. How many times do I have to say it? If you're going to go to jail because your driving is impaired, there should be some chick's face and your lap involved. Like that scene in National Lampoon's Vacation where Beverly D'Angelo's head gets caught underneath the steering wheel. That I could let slide. But driving around Tampa alone and drunk at 3:00 in the morning on your birthday is just sad.