Michael Vick Is Incapable Of Learning

Michael Vick, who is currently awaiting sentencing for federal conspiracy charges, who was recently indicted in Virginia on dogfighting charges, who has been under constant scrutiny since for the last six months, tested positive for marijuana on September 13. The same substance he didn't have in the secret compartments of his fake water bottles.

It should be obvious by now that Michael Vick has moved beyond the label of functionally retarded and is now part of a very select family of self-destructive dipshits that currently includes Britney Spears, Tom Sizemore, and that chick you like who keeps going out with the jocks even though you've made it clear how much better than them you are. The terms of his release were very clear.

As part of his pretrial release, Vick agreed to "refrain from use or unlawful possession of a narcotic drug or other controlled substance."

I'm sure his lawyer read it to him and gave him a copy with all the hard words spelled out FO-NET-IK-LEE. With all this time on his hands and no dogs to torture, you'd think Vick would use some of his remaining wealth to very publicly do some community service to improve his image and maybe influence the judge who will sentence him in December to show a little leniency. There's got to be some disadvantaged group of people out there who are willing to overlook Vick's history and accept some help from him. Instead, he still hangs out with the wrong people (drug dealers), engages in illegal activities and eschews authority. The time has come to stop hating Vick and start pitying him like the dog who won't stop barking even though his shock collar is on.