Jake Plummer Is Banging This

Jake Plummer recently married a former Denver Bronco cheerleader, proving that even guys with beards thick enough to conceal a robin's nest can still find love.

Wedding photos were unavailable because Plummer is flipping the photographer the bird in all of them.

The article states that "it's a blow to Tampa Bay's chances of adding a fifth quarterback" (which is pretty funny), but I have to disagree. Look at her. Does that look like a chick who is going to be satisfied with the income that being a potato farmer provides? Even if Plummer takes up handball professionally, how much can it possibly earn him? Add to that the $7 million that he will eventually have to hand over to the Bucs and Plummer is one Bronco who will not be getting a cowgirl ride for quite some time. His best chance to keep his new bride in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed (all that waxing ain't cheap) is to try work out a deal with Bruce Allen to get him traded to a city where unstable assholes married to hot blondes without real careers are considered normal. Unfortunately, Los Angeles doesn't have an NFL team yet.