Greg Spires Is Gonna Be Pissed

Greg Spires loaned his Porsche Cayenne to Donald Penn because Spires is just that kind of guy and apparently $300k doesn't buy decent wheels. Penn then did what any appreciative friend would do: slammed Spires's Porsche into a parked 1965 Oldsmobile 442 at 4:30 in the morning.

Penn was last seen crawling into a trunk, Rae Carruth-style. You don't fuck with The Crane's ride.

(Also, nice of the Tribune to publish everyone's home address. Very necessary, guys. Seriously, I hope you all suffocate on rhinoceros cock.)