Michael Strahan Is A Huge Ass

I haven't said anything to this point about Michael Strahan's holdout because I honestly give no shits for Strahan or the Giants. I didn't care that he was holding out, I didn't care that he was thinking about retiring, and I didn't care when he came back. The only time I ever used brain power on Strahan is when I tried to imagine he and Madonna kissing and wondering if the gaps in their teeth would line up.

So, Strahan ends his fake holdout and his fake retirement contemplation conveniently after training camp and all the preseason games. Is it not obvious that Strahan just didn't want to work this summer? The penalty to a contracted player for missing mandatory minicamps and training camp is $14k+ per day. Strahan missed everything and, as a result, was fined $514,000. Fair enough. He knew the consequences of missing work. Then the Giants thought they would be nice and reduce the fine to $200,000. I absolutely don't agree with this because it says that Strahan is more important than other players on the team. Anyone else who held out would have to pay the $14k+ rate. Strahan gets a reduced rate, and that sends a message that this is not a team; it is a collection of disperate individuals who have to answer to different rules based on their perceived importance.

But even that's apparently not good enough.

The Giants were more content with the lower number than Strahan was said to be. He was, in a word, miffed.

Oh, fuck you, Strahan. Fuck you sideways with a pineapple. Your team is already giving you preferential treatment and you're pissed that you didn't get more? Your 15-year veteran status likely already gets you out of most two-a-days and grunt work that the younger players have to tolerate. That's fine, but you still have to show up or else you pay the fine. I'm sure Joey Galloway would have loved to have stayed in Ohio until the last week of August because he's an old guy who knows the ropes. But he came to camp and did his reps because that's what his contract said he had to do. Your's said the same thing, but you think you're above it. Tom Coughlin should have cut you as soon as you started playing your immature games. Your release would have done more good to that team than your presence on the field will.

I still don't care about the Giants, but I'll be keeping an eye on their defensive line this year. I'm really rooting for some young player to outperform you and cast you aside like a jockstrap that has outlived its usefulness.