Luke McCown Is Not Comforting

Did you ever think you'd live long enough to see a feature article in Tampa on Luke McCown? He has looked the best in camp so far out of the potential backups. No shit. His biggest problem is his recognition and decision making. But as far as delivering a ball on target and on time, no problems.

The article is interesting for a number of reasons, first of which is the Times's seemingly compulsive need to disrespect the Bucs when it's not called for. As the setup to talk about McCown, they mention the other quarterbacks.

We've seen the Bucs desperately reach out to Jake Plummer and Daunte Culpepper.

No they haven't. The Bucs worked out Culpepper once and then never spoke to him again. In what way is that desperate?

Next, I like how McCown tries to comfort Chris Simms as he takes reps that Simms would be taking if he was healthy.

The irony is that McCown's precious chance is coming largely because his good friend, Simms, is experiencing physical problems. As McCown lines up for play after play during workouts, Simms often stands by idly.

"Anytime I get a chance I try to encourage him and give him a little something to remind him that he should smile. His daughter's at home healthy, he's got a beautiful wife, he has a healthy family. Be happy."

See, McCown can't say, "At least you've got your health," because he doesn't. So he starts complimenting his family, which is secret code for "You're not going to be here much longer." He should have started off saying, "Look, you're a really great guy and all..." That's always a picker-upper.

The article ends with some of McCown's dad's wisdom:

"Unless you've really got a guy who has done it six or seven years consistently, there's going to be a little uncertainty," McCown said. "My dad used to say, 'There's no cure for experience.' "

If by "experience" he meant "cancer", he's right. Otherwise I think the senior McCown may have mixed his metaphors. Or a few drinks.

Speaking of McCown (again, never thought I'd say that,) Jon Gruden was asked if his experience would help him this season. Gruden is nursing a sore throat but was able to summon up enough strength and breath to deliver a sarcastic response to a reporter who should have known better.

He hasn't got a bevy of experience. Yeah, he's been around a long time, sitting in an ice tub. He's got experience in an ice tub.

McCown has four starts to his credit. Four. And they were in Cleveland, so they only count as half anyway. Didn't the reporter who asked this know that? Or was he one of the same guys who still pronounces his name "McNown", as in Cade? When I get famous enough to need someone to handle my press conferences (should be any day now,) I want Jon Gruden to do them for me.