Daunte Culpepper Needs To Get His Head Out Of His Ass

You know why football players have agents? Besides being easy sources of hookers and blow, I mean. They have them because agents will tell players things they don't want to (but need to) hear. Things like, "You don't need a sixth Mercedes," "You're in your second year of the contract so you can't hold out," "Text messages can be saved and used in court," and "If you have sex with her you will be in US Weekly tomorrow, and not in a flattering way." They also help players set realistic goals about their career decisions. Which is why Daunte Culpepper really should talk to an agent now.

Word is that Culpepper, who made $5.5 million last year, is asking for similar "starter's" money in a new contract.

Remember that Daffy Duck cartoon where Daffy's head turns into a jackass head when he realizes he's just destroyed the wrong building? That's how the Dolphins feel after paying Culpepper $5.5 million for the 2006 season. Even the Falcons who have Chris Redman backing up Joey Harrington aren't going to pay Culpepper $5.5 million straight up. Any contract Culpepper signs is going to have to be for a relatively small salary and heavy on incentives if he meets some playing time and performance criteria. Culpepper can be a good quarterback, but no team I can think of is in such a dire situation at that position to take a chance with that kind of money whose best season is three years and three knee ligaments behind him. There's no way Bruce Allen comes close to that figure.