Catching Up

Well, it's been a nice week of travel, relaxation and tiptoeing gingerly around wild bears (that last part is true), but now it's time to get back to work. I'd like to thank Ski and NFL Adam for their contributions to this site in my absence, Ski notably not updating his own site but still finding the time to get to mine. And kudos to NFL Adam for working in an Elizabeth Berkley reference and making it actually tie in. I've been trying to do that for years. You guys are in my own personal Hall of Fame, which is worth exactly as much as it sounds.

And it looks like I picked the right week to be away. The only real Buccaneers news is that Torrie Cox was suspended for four games for violating the league substance abuse policy. In the article, Pewter Report states that they don't know if it was for performance-enhancing drugs or not, but please. Have you seen Torrie Cox?

This is the not the physique of a man who is juicing. Maybe gin-and-juicing. And if you will recall his two previous DUIs, that's most likely the case. Chances are he violated some "no alcohol" provision after his last arrest and is now suspended after testing positive for alcohol. The next day, Cox's agent confirmed that the suspension was not steroid-related. Cox is appealing the suspension for the following reason:

"The punishment did not fit the crime and Torrie was not afforded the due process required under these circumstances," Peter Schaffer, Cox's agent, told the Tampa Tribune.

The punishment did not fit the crime? Tank Johnson was cut after being pulled over for speeding 15 MPH over the limit and having a legally-acceptable amount to drink. I'm not defending Johnson, but times are different in the NFL now. Schaffer should be aware of that.

"We are hopeful that Torrie Cox can overcome this personal setback," Bucs general manager Bruce Allen said in news release.

Allen did not add, "And he will have a job waiting for him when he returns." The ESPN article also calls Cox an "emerging player", which is just silly. What games has Len Pasquarelli been watching?

In other news, Lionel Gates, the player who was charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman, has had his case "resolved". I don't know what that word means in a legal context or if the charges were dropped or what, but we have apparently heard the last of it. He will have to attend anger management classes for the remaining charges (criminal mischief and trespassing) which, for some reason, were not resolved.

So, for those keeping score, getting liquored up is a four game suspension but beating up a pregnant woman is overlooked. The NFL needs to find some consistency here. Doesn't the commissioner watch old Humphrey Bogart or Clark Gable movies? Getting hammered and slapping broads go hand in hand, so to speak. You can't take one away and leave the other. That's like taking away the crackers but leaving the Cheez Whiz.