I’m Looking For Answers From The Great Beyond

The front page of CNNSI.com asks the question fragment, "Too early to think about the 2008 NFL Draft?" You're god damn right it is. Give it a freakin' rest, people. Minicamps are being held all over the country this weekend. Rookie free agents, huge trades... hell, even Michael Vick tried his best to focus this attention back on actual NFL players by having his name associated sensationalistically with abused animals and cockfighting (Comic gold: a guy with herpes is being accused of cockfighting.) But no. Apparently living in the moment is too boring. So, Andrew Perloff has posted his 2008 mock draft, predicting that the Buccaneers will take Sam Baker, a left tackle out of Southern California who is generally regarded as a very polished offensive line prospect (except for his beard, which is quite unkempt and not what I've come to expect from USC. Didn't he learn anything from Ryan Kalil?) The fact that he has Tampa Bay slotted fifth is also noteworthy.

I expect this kind of ridiculous prognosticating from sites like GBN who focus solely on examining and evaluating young athletic college men. Yes, GBN, I'm calling all of you gay. GBN has their own 2008 mock draft with the Bucs picking second and selecting Louisville quarterback Brian Brohm. Second slot! I guess all those high draft grades, big name free agent pickups and the significantly easier schedule don't add up to much in their eyes. Even funnier is that they both agree that the Raiders will again have the worst record in the league while the Patriots will win the Super Bowl. Way to rally behind the overdog, guys.

Well, anything they can do, I can do better. The 2008 draft? No way... that's as good as over. The guys who really know what's going on are looking toward the 2016 draft. That's where the real action is. I like the way seventh grader Eric Rose of Eatonville runs with authority and sheds tackles. Here he is in a 20-0 shutout over Olympia.

I'd like to encourage the Buccaneers to send some scouts to his school and check out his game. Maybe send him some caps and T-shirts to get him familiar with the brand. And then, nine years from now, nab him in the second round. It'll be a total steal.

Seriously, guys... find a hobby.