Michael Strahan Is A Drama Queen

Michael Strahan is writing a book. Or, more precisely, Strahan is saying things about football into a tape recorder that a real writer will then wrestle into a coherent story about his time in the NFL.

Which is apparently not all it's cracked up to be.

Part of Michael Strahan's upcoming tell-all on pro football reads like the script of a sadistic slasher movie. "You want to be an NFL star? You want to stand in my shoes?," the Giants' defensive end writes in "Inside the Helmet," out this August from Gotham Books. "Let's say one day I came to you and offered you a million dollars to let me take a huge hunting knife and wear down the blade until it was rusty and really dull. Then, when it's really dull and nasty, I would stick it into a pit of burning coals until the blade was white-hot. Finally, I would pull that sucker out of the flames and stab you over and over and over again. Take that blade and stab you in the ankles, your feet and your wrists. Not just stick it in but turn that rusty old knife and twist it when it's sunk deep into your knees or shoulders." And the point of his bloodthirsty scenario? "That is the reality of my NFL," Strahan writes. "Every single year I have somebody sink this awful, dreadful blade into a few parts of my body."

Mr. Strahan, the family of Wojciech Frykowski would like a word with you.